Stop looking for their faults
If your relationship is in crisis, you’re probably zeroing in on the issues like a fighter jet to a rocket target. STOP. Focusing entirely on the faults is a sure-fire way to relationship disaster. Human beings naturally tend toward a negative perception bias – we notice and remember negative events more often than positive. Looking for what is dangerous, uncertain or unsure is a safety mechanism in-built into our human hardwire. Healthy relationships though, require us to be able to have a balanced view of our partners – the good with the bad, the faults with the strengths. Couples counselling can support you to look beyond the flaws to find what you love again. To look past interpretation and to see the true intentions of your partner.
Make the effort
Change requires effort. Plain and simple. If you want your relationship to improve, then you have to put the effort in to change poor behaviour patterns that may be in place for several years. Sometimes it’s the simple things that actually create the biggest changes. Think about small things you can do to improve your own behaviour toward your partner. Take the action, move toward the change you want. Couples counselling requires you to commit to making small improvements that lead to big changes. What’s one simple thing you can do that will improve your partner’s day – start with that.
Remind yourself you’re on the same team
Shake off the tit-for-tat attitude and remember that you’re both working toward the same goal. It’s highly likely that your partner wants the relationship to be healthy and happy too. Stop fighting against each other, and work toward being a better team. The more we try to win, the more the relationship loses. If we try to focus on building each other up rather than tearing each other down, we strengthen each other and ultimately the relationship. Great partners are great units, excellent teams, and a strong partnership. Couples counselling can support you to stop fighting against each other and to start working together on your shared goals.
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