All relationships go through ups and downs, but if you’ve been feeling more troughs than peaks – it may be time to go to online couples counselling. Our couples therapists share their tips for how to tell if you and your partner need online couples counselling.
You are constantly fighting
Conflict is a difficult but inevitable part of all relationships, but continuous or perpetual conflict is both exhausting, and a sign that you and your partner could benefit from online couples counselling. In healthy relationships conflict should feel resolvable, where you feel heard, understood, validated by your partner. Couples can build deep resentment and apathy from perpetual conflict, which can be difficult to overcome without professional support. If your fights are abusive, violent or one-sided, then couples work isn’t suitable, we would recommend individual therapy in these cases. But if you’re mutually bickering all the time – let us help you to better direct that energy toward strengthen the relationship.
You’ve plateaued
I always say - complacency is the death knell of all good relationships. Many couples that attend online couples counselling started out in a great place, and then slowly went downhill due to a lack of effort, focus and attention. A plateau may feel like you’re stuck in a routine, bored or just not that excited about the relationship. When something is good, we often take it for granted, including our relationships. When we feel like it’s ok, we stop working on it – and resultantly, the relationship can decline due to the lack of maintenance. A. plateau is a great indicator that your relationship could benefit from online couples counselling. Online couples counselling can support you to explore where you can grow and build on the relationship, before it hits crisis point. While we do bring back many couples from the verge of separation, it’s far easier to do when you’re not right at edge.
The intimacy has lost its spark
Sex is going to come and go across a relationship lifetime – but we can take a more active role in trying to reinstate a great sexual relationship. Most couples don’t talk about sex, and because they don’t talk about it – it often goes neglected within the relationship. Online couples counselling doesn’t always have to be during a crisis when you’re fighting, it can also be fun and to help invigorate some play in the relationship. Online couples counselling can be a great place to reconnect with your partner over pleasure.
Are you ready?
If you’re unsure whether you’re ready, or your partner isn’t keen to attend, then we can also support you individually and provide you with resources to share with your partner. Above all the best time to go to online couples counselling is before you or your partner have checked out mentally, if you still have the investment in the relationship, then truly invest in the time to repair it.
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