Human beings all have different needs for sex. The reasons why we have sex, and when are all completely valid, and usually very diverse. When our needs for sex change, we often judge ourselves, thinking there’s something wrong with me, or if it’s their partner, they question – do they find me attractive still, have I done something wrong? People will resign themselves to having a low libido, sexual issues and often avoid sex – but you don’t have to!
It’s completely normal for you need for sex to change over time. Your appetite changes over time, and we rarely question that. Some days we are hungrier than others, some foods don’t make our tastebuds salivate, some foods set our tummy rumbling. Our desires for sex will usually change within our lifetime and also in the course of a relationship. It’s quite common for people to experience a shift in how much they crave their partner physically from the start of a relationship, to two year in, to 10 years on – and this is completely normal. It also doesn’t mean that your sex life has to suffer.
People often think there’s something wrong if they don’t want sex – and they expect that a magical feeling of suddenly wanting to have sex is what they should experience. People rarely get that feeling – the sudden desire for sex. Actually, if sex was always a sudden desire, that could be incredibly dangerous and uncomfortable!
There may be several reasons why your needs for sex have changed, lifestyle, physical changes, relationship strains, not having satisfying sex with your partner, not understanding your own needs sexually so not knowing what to ask for.
Through sex therapy we can explore your changing sexual needs and desires, help you to re-connect to your sex drive, and support you to feel more empowered sexually. Through relationship counselling, we can support you and your partner to become more in-synch sexually, to understand when your sexual needs peak, and find optimum times for sexual pleasure.
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